
Confronting fear is the number one challenge you’ll face in every moment of your life. Fear holds us back, controls our behavior, and leads to self-sabotage. Fear is also at the core of hatred, violence, oppression, self-deception, hopelessness, anxiety, and failure. You probably already know some of the common fears:
fear of rejection (keeping you from asking that special somebody on a date or applying for that promotion);
fear of failure (which keeps you immobilized and in constant procrastination mode); and
fear of intimacy and trust (you’ve been burned so you keep people at a distance lest you get hurt again).
The difficulty is that we often have no idea which fear is at play and how it is silently manipulating us into self-sabotaging acts. That’s why self-examination can be so powerful because we can uncover secret destructive fears and then confront them head-on with courage and awareness. Thus, the first step is to identify the fear that is in the driver’s seat of our actions and the second step is to move through the fear and take back control of our lives.
So, what if I were to tell you that there is one main fear that’s holding you back according to your personality type? Wouldn’t that be helpful? You could then confront that particular fear in every moment of your life and, in doing so, achieve greater success, peace, and happiness. According to the
Enneagram, a personality assessment with roots that date back more than 2,500 years, there are nine major personality types and each type is driven by an underlying fear which needs to be identified and challenged. See if any of the following nine fears apply to you. Perhaps you can relate to all of them, but try to see if any one in particular resonates with you the most.
1. Fear of being bad, evil or corrupt.
2. Fear of being unloved and unwanted as you are.
3. Fear of being worthless and without value apart from your achievements and external status.
4. Fear of having no identity or no personal significance.
5. Fear of being helpless, useless, and incapable.
6. Fear of having no support and guidance—not being able to survive on one’s own.
7. Fear of being deprived or trapped.
8. Fear of being harmed or controlled by others, violated.
9. Fear of loss and separation, of annihilation (extinction).
If any of these fears speak to you, examine how they might be controlling your life. We tend to compensate for our fears by engaging in exaggerated behaviors in the opposite extreme. So, you might become a perfectionist if you fear being bad. The cure is to 1) recognize the fear 2) reassure yourself that you’re okay and 3) take control by living life from your heart and life purpose and not in reaction to your fear. Then you will be in the driver’s seat of your life and fulfilling the dreams from your heart.
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